Saturday, March 12, 2011

If Napoleon if I told him if I told him if Napoleon.

What I should be doing tonight is working on a seriously overdue project and watching my Napoleon miniseries (John Malkovich as Talleyrand!), but that seems like such an assignment. I mean, I love projects, and I love Napoleon (He was made a general at 26!), but I've had those dvds from Netflix for like two weeks and haven't watched them yet. Too much pressure!


I mean, I know Josephine's real name was Rose (It was changed by Napoleon because he didn't like Rose.), and I know that she was 32 to his 26 (the general-making age) and she had bad (I mean, bad) teeth. But there are so many other things I don't know. (I also know the thing Napoleon said in that letter to Josephine about not bathing because he was coming home soon--learned that in 9th grade {Who didn't?}. Dirty birds.)


So, yes, I'm excited to learn through the power of the miniseries, but it's like seven hours long. That's a pretty big commitment for me.


In the meantime, I've spent my evening watching Bonnie and Clyde (excellent, in case you're wondering), marvelling at Warren Beatty's wonderfully unkempt hair (and unsettling laugh) and everything about Faye Dunaway. Oh! Also, Estelle Parsons plays Buck Barrow's wife, Blanche. Who is Estelle Parsons? Only Roseanne and Jackie's mother, Bev, from Roseanne! It took me a couple minutes to realize. I had to talk myself through--grating, dissatisfied yet superior voice--and then I had to have a moment of silence while I filtered through all the television mothers I could recall (because I knew enough to know that it was a mother voice). It was an exciting moment. I thought about calling someone.


I've also been doing a little bit of kick-back drinking. No biggie, but it did directly contribute to this next thing: me reading old myspace blogs and cracking up. Like this little gem from an October 2005 conversion with Catherine:


Her: "I've limited myself to drinking coffee on social outings only."
Me: "You're a social drinker?"
Her: "Yes, and this is social."
Me: "No, this is anti-social. Just because we're being anti-social together--"
Her: "Two wrongs don't make a right, but two negatives do make a positive...that's math."
Me: "Hah, we're two negatives."


Maybe it's just my current state, but that is hilarious.

I found this crab claw while walking along the lake in Milwaukee last summer.
I was thinking about it today. Poor little crabbin. (I know that isn't a word.)


Who comes first. Napoleon the first.

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